The Ghosts of a Christmas Yet to Come

I was walking home from the train station one night recently after work, in one of those "sick of my day job/need to start doing what I love" sort of moods, and I started thinking about what it would be like to see into my own future.

Somehow it would be a relief to know for sure where I would end up, what I would end up doing with my life in the context of entirety, and if I would be happy at the end of it all looking back. I sort of felt like Scrooge from A Christmas Carol, grumbling and mumbling and hoping some ghost might appear to me at midnight and answer all of my deepest pondered questions.

Then I started wondering what good all that knowing would actually do for me. If I know where every step I take would lead me before the step is even taken, would I walk the same direction? Would ultimately knowing my own future cause me to sabatoge it? Would I be too cynical? After a while, knowing the future stopped sounding like a relief and started sounding like a buzz kill.

The thing about it is- faith exists because of the unknown. Hope is the optimism God instills inside of us to make us stronger, even through the tough times and especially when we can't possibly see a way out of the quicksand in our lives.

I can't tell you how sitting in a cubicle at a job I hate, dreaming about being on a stage or in a studio doing music full-time, is going to bridge together. I can tell you it sustains my wonder, sustains my drive, and continually challenges me to take risks and find opportunities to bridge the present gap. I can't tell you how sitting at my computer right now, writing to the 11 people who currently follow this blog, is going to open doors for me to write a #1 best selling book on faith that will be read by millions of people around the world. But I will tell you that I'll keep writing these blogs until my fingers fall off, trusting God that there is hope it can happen.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

If God had said "Just ask me whatever you want to know and I'll just go ahead and show everything to you ahead of time", would we really be better for it? It is the very essence of believing in what we cannot see that gives our lives purpose, that gives us hope.

One of the verses I cling to every time I morph into Ebenezer Scrooge is found in Luke 12:27-31- "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

Today, may each of be grateful for the conditions of our now so that when our then comes, we will be more than ready. Amen!

When Judas Joined the "Dark Side"

I am a big fan of the Star Wars films. I have been since I was a little boy. I probably wouldn’t classify as a true fanatic, seeing as I don’t know every name of every creature and planet both in and out of the film’s mythical history. I’ve also never been to a convention, so maybe I’m just a wannabe fanatic. A poser, if you will. But there is something about the overall story of Star Wars that to this day I find compelling, captivating, and maybe even somewhat relevant to the Christian faith. 

What most people don’t realize is that the Star Wars saga is somewhat of a modern day Shakespearian tragedy, at least from my point of view. I guess it is because I have always been drawn to the character of Anakin Skywalker, who (for those of you who don’t know) eventually becomes the infamous Darth Vader. This story of a boy who is gifted beyond reason, trusted with everything, and eventually betrays all expectations and joins the “Dark Side” is strangely and hauntingly parallel to both a part of the historical Gospels and the modern church as it can be seen in our modern day.

Recently, I was listening to a pastor speak on the life of Judas and his betrayal of Jesus Christ that ultimately led to His crucifixion. The pastor eloquently spoke about the nature of Judas’ betrayal, the clever façade he wore during the time he traveled and ministered with Jesus, and the revealing of his true nature that was fully understood in the handing over of Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. 

Every time I hear sermons or insights on the person of Judas Iscariot, it seems like he is painted as a liar, a traitor, and an inherently evil human being who faked his way alongside the life of Jesus in order to cleverly plot and implement a betrayal that would lead Jesus to His death. Now the Bible at places does defend this notion, but its ambiguity leaves the Judas bashers with far too much liberty to claim that his entire time of discipleship was a farce. My perspective is bias as well, mind you, but I would like to present an alternative theory about our friend Judas. Take from it what you will.

Call me a skeptic, but the idea that Judas could pull off a scam this big around men who knew everything about each other by the time of Judas’ betrayal of Christ (some of which were tax collectors and could spot a double-agent from miles away) strikes me as a little farfetched, a little naïve, a somewhat generous giving of credit to Judas, and a near-sighted understanding of Jesus and his choosing of His apostles. 

We have to really dig deeper into what it meant to be an “apostle”, as well as what Judas’ role in the apolistic journey truly was.

Along with all the respect and responsibilities of being an apostle of Jesus, Judas is historically known as the treasurer of the group. This tell us that Judas was chosen for his role, at least in part, because of his abilities and skills in some form of financing, budgeting, and care-taking of the provisions Jesus and His followers lived and survived on throughout their 3-plus year journey. Therefore, he must have been responsible, very intelligent, and very trustworthy. 

As we understand and analyze this historical background and this specific role assigned to Judas, it makes a lot more sense why Satan would find and attack Judas in an area of his life he was highly committed to, extremely passionate for, and maybe even a little prideful about. 

Isn’t that how Satan works so often? When we find strength and passion for something, when we commit our lives to being good at something, Satan is always there to highlight our shortcomings, offer distractions, and pull us away from what we originally set out to accomplish for God. 

I see Judas as a good person with good intentions, but who fell flat on his face by letting Satan’s short-term distractions pull him away from Jesus’ long-term plans for his life. 

Judas, before his betrayal, must have been a true follower of Christ also because of his endurance and commitment to the cause of Christ. John 6:60-71 is a passage of the Gospel in which Jesus clarifies the cost of following Him and speaks of the difficulty of His teachings and His mission. It says in verse 66 of the chapter that many of His followers turned away and stopped following Him, but that a handful remained. This would have included Judas Iscariot. 

Other passages in Scripture go on to depict how trying, tough, and almost unbearable following Jesus truly was for both the physical and spiritual aspects of the journey. People began leaving Jesus, going back home, and tiring from the ongoing adventure. However, still all twelve of His apostles, including Judas, kept the faith and pressed on with their Rabbi. 

Judas, therefore, must have been committed enough to the cause to carry on. So he was obviously strong, obviously faithful, and obviously committed to Jesus as a friend (or revolutionary leader as he might have seen Jesus).  

So what went wrong? When and how did Judas lose his faith? When did he, like Anakin Skywalker, join the “dark side” of the force? Well, the story goes much deeper. 

Historical studies and research on Judas Iscariot point us to an understanding that Judas believed Jesus to be the leader of what he considered an earthly revolution. Some historians claim that Judas believed and followed Jesus, at least in part, because he believed Jesus had come to save His people from this world. Jesus, to Judas, was a man who spoke against government, and who would eventually lead His followers in an earthly uprising and overthrow the Roman government. 

While Jesus many times did challenge the establishment of that society, His revolution was a spiritual one. Jesus has come to save this world from the next life, a life destined for destruction, hell, and eternal separation from God. 

Judas never fully grasped this, and as time went on, he began to lose faith in the plans that Jesus had for this broken world. 

So now, let’s step back and take a look at Judas’ struggle. He wasn’t inherently evil, and least I don’t think so. He hadn’t followed Jesus as a spy for the devil. Instead, Judas let his plans for Jesus and his over commitment to a love of money cause him to lose sight of the bigger picture, ultimately taking matters into his own hands. As his faith in Jesus dwindled, as he became more and more selfish and short-sighted, he fell to the quick and easy path- take the money and run!

Judas was playing a spiritual game of “Deal or No Deal”, and he was taking the wrong deal at the wrong time. It would lead to the betrayal and execution of the person he cared for and loved most in this world- his Rabbi, his teacher, his Savior…his friend Jesus Christ. Why else would Judas have hung himself? He was so distraught, so messed up, and so lost and hurt by stabbing his friend in the back. Not only that, he was directly associated to the execution of the Savior of this world. He, like many of us, couldn’t handle that guilt, and took his life as self-punishment rather than seeking the unending and unmatched forgiveness of God. 

Think about Anakin Skywalker for a second. How parallel is this Star Wars character to the person of Judas? He was considered to be one of the greatest Jedi Knights ever to exist. While hundreds had fallen during the Clone Wars, Anakin and a handful of others remained. Anakin was strong, determined, and faithful to his teachers. However, Anakin wanted power, and with that power he wanted a revolution. He was willing to sacrifice a few for the sake of many down a quick and easy path, and we all know how it ended. Anakin fell to his obsession for power and prestige, and became Darth Vader and was ultimately defeated. 

George Lucas actually got something right (I say this because the man is awful with plot development and writing quality scripts…Indiana Jones 4…need I say more?). In the exact same way, Judas was selected to be one of the few to spread the Gospel. While hundreds of other followers fell by the wayside, Judas and the other apostles remained strong. When Judas realized that Jesus would not fulfill his selfish plans, he decided to sacrifice Him for the sake of the cause. He let his passion for money become an obsession, and his obsession caused him to be overcome with shame and guilt. In the end, he took his own life with the noose. Talk about cruel irony!

How often do we, the church, do exactly what Judas did? How often do we get so wrapped up in “doing” church rather than “being” the church that we lose sight of what we originally set out to do in the first place? How many times have we gotten impatient with God when His plans weren’t our plans? How frequently have we taken the easy route that left us worse off than we were at the start? How often have we betrayed the One Who loves and cares for us most?

There are hundreds of Judases in the modern church, and we’ve all been one at some point. The two questions we must ask ourselves are:

Are we letting our God-given talents, skills, and abilities distract us from God using those gifts to bless others and bring honor and glory to His name?

When we fall short and betray God’s intentions, do we seek His loving forgiveness or do we hate ourselves and feel useless and irrelevant to God’s bigger story that He’s writing for us?

May each of us, rather than clinging to the noose, cling to the loving arms of Jesus Who always forgives us and who never leaves us, even when we fail…even when we are like Judas. That is when it stops being about us, and allows His purpose to take the wheel.